Right Away

Addiction, they say, is cunning, baffling, and powerful. THEY are RIGHT! But since they are so right, why is it so hard to grasp the seriousness of relapse? People work extremely hard in programs, rehabs, and even in the detox levels of recovery. Their loved ones sometimes, are working with them mostly from a distance, and have expectations that there will be a new person arriving when the time has come. Deciding to get sober, doesn’t land you on an easy road. The journey begins with so much insecurity, many people that have stepped on the trail, step right back out as if the road were made of hot coals. They just aren’t willing to handle all of that yet. There is much work that goes into being abstinent from a “drug of choice.” A lot of addicts tend to make the road harder than it has to be. Addicted people hit that road running, but are carrying selfishness, manipulation, trauma, unsettled fears, mental health issues (either pre-active using days or a new disorder brought on by using), physical and emotional pain, anger, and other behaviors or attitudes that tend to be barriers. On the other hand, sometimes, they’re just not ready to let go of the demonic hold of drugs and alcohol. In their minds, at least when they use, they it is familiar. They know what to expect.

The folks that are prepared to fight the battle, because they’ve been fighting a battle much worse, are still walking on shaky legs. The ground underneath them does not feel firm, but they’ve had enough so much that- anything is better than what they’ve already put themselves through. Once that battle has been won, and the treatment has begun, hope arrives. Faith showed up in the smallest amount, and hope came tagging along. With those two things together, a person seeking help and a new life can begin to gain courage. Courage isn’t easy to have. Courage comes like muscles do when an athlete commits to a training program. Courage is built as one commits to a program of abstinence. Commitment is everything. And acceptance is the cherry on top.

Making sure to adhere to some simple measures can help save a sick and suffering addict. First change or simply stay away from, people, places, and things. Yes, that’s right! Birds of a feather, flock together. It’s true. If yoy hang around long enough, things don’t seem as harmful. Don’t use anything that is mind or mood altering. Don’t switch one habit into another habit. And most importantly, go after sobriety as if your life depends on it, because it does! Some people feel invincible if they have never experienced an overdose. But they shouldn’t be fooled. I’ve met many that forgot once they left a program of recovery, or a treatment center, or sober home, the amount they used to get high prior to treatment, is not the same amount now required to get high– and some of them OD’d. God bless their souls and their families, but people aren’t always willing to listen, or ready to quit. If you know someone, don’t be discouraged. It can get better, if they truly want it to. And don’t forget, that as badly as you want them to have a healthy and happy life, you cannot fix them.

Remind your loved ones that are fresh on the recovery journey, to “take it easy.” Tell them to take care of themselves– by eating right/healthy, getting enough rest, doing maintenance to stay “recovery fit.” Suggest that they get in touch with sober supports possibly through AA/NA or CA groups. It wouldn’t hurt for the involved loved ones to join a Codependency group (yes, they have those too) or Al-Anon. If you are close to the person suffering with the addiction(s), you may truly need to seek help and support for yourself. If they have had traumatic experiences, encourage your loved one to take care of their mental health. A bad mental health day can turn into a bad relapse or mental breakdown. You don’t want to preach or chase anyone away, but you also don’t want them to go back to using right away. If they stay sober for a little while early on, they may like it and actually do what it takes to remain sober. This is for all of you family members, spouses, children and friends. We know you all are affected by the disease of addiction as well. You are there.

Acknowledge and Live

Denial is such a terrible waste of energy and time. When we refuse to address or merely admit there is an issue, we take great strides in the opposite of progression. We regress or just don’t grow at all. We can achieve greatness when we can admit, address, and recover from anything that may be hindering our advancement in life.

The most obvious of denials is when a person or persons are dealing with a problem addiction. Let’s not fail to mention here about the many addictions that plague our society. We have alcohol, hoarding, gambling, mind/mood altering substances, sex, hustling, and many more that could be mentioned. These addictions all come with a price. So whether you acknowledge or deny the actuality of your problem/addiction or not, the repercussions of the behavior will seep to the surface.

So what next? You decide you can no longer take the agony. Your consistent desire to seek gratification through your addiction is becoming a nuisance. Your personal relationships are becoming less meaningful, and you do nothing to salvage them. You disregard or dismiss any advice or suggestions of the truth. You are missing sleep, skipping meals, and have become more anxious and/or depressed. It’s time to do something or you feel like your life will be over. You admit you can no longer live like that.

It’s not easy to just go into a rehab or seek professional help with your problems. That is a fact, and it doesn’t set you aside from everyone else. The task to get help is challenging, but can be one of the easiest things to do. You seek help, the “helper,” helps you. No one can keep you from continuing in your “problem.” If you are serious about getting better and engaging in life with a more positive approach, go get the help you need. A phone call, an email, or whatever other resource that is out there is not that far away. Your life may depend on your next move. Your family, friends and other important aspects of your life may be on the line. Go for it! I promise, it’s worth a try! I know!

To, or not to

So you woke up today and thought, “Life has got to be more than this.” Could last night have been the last time? Is the fence heavy enough to hold your weight? Or, are you actually ready to find the ways and means to begin changing your life?

The world of addiction owes no one anything. So many people get caught up in the lifestyle around their addiction, that even if they want to quit the habit, there are so many other aspects that need to be changed as well. For instance, gambling addicts have accumulated friends in the world of gambling and those people understand the weakness which can always bring the addict back to the drawing board. Here comes another “get rich quick” scheme. The gambling addict plays right into it. The gambling joints, casinos, the people, the boos, the women and many other things need to be removed in order for the gambler to have a successful chance at recovery.

The biggest problem with all of that is it takes more than willpower to even accept that life has gotten unmanageable and it will take a mountain of movement to change it. Unfortunately, faith in addicted people is very minimal as the promises made over time, have rarely come to fruition. Without trust from loved ones, or other supports, it makes recovery a lonesome task. Sometimes people won’t even tackle the job because they feel no one believes in them, they’ve lost everything, and it just doesn’t seem worth the trouble.

Truth is, it is more than worth the trouble. I know.

After running from myself in years of active addiction, I got so overwhelmed with what I had to face if I got sober, that I (being the risk taker that I am) gave in. I actually was throwing in the towel on life. I wanted life to be different. I didn’t care what changed, but something had to give. My freedom from that bondage surely didn’t come right away. But it was worth the trek. I had to truly relieve myself of all obligations I had to “that life” and become open-minded to stay the course. It became a job and I felt like it was reachable, just at a super far distance. Little did I know, the most challenging part was going to be for me to let go of my “ideologies” of superiority (they were false anyhow), and listen to reason. What a heck of a list!

The decision was to go with it, or not go with it. I had to want to get sober and live that way “for real,” and do what it took to achieve that feat. And it was a FEAT! I have to share an important factor. I did not want to give up the freedoms that being irresponsible gave me. As long as I was running, I could live how I wanted, maybe not with WHAT I wanted, but free nonetheless. No rules, no cares, no responsibilities. If any of these came up, I bucked them of course. It was challenging to quit using and abusing.

The final deciding factor was my sanity. I knew if I stayed on the road to destruction, I would have no sanity. I didn’t want to die without having my faculties. I wanted to at least “go out” coherently. So, I did it. In 2009, I gave up that continuous battle that was leading nowhere or to an early death, and I went in full force. Slowly but surely, I made it out and guess what? I still have my sanity– for the most part. If you are wondering what to do next, just decide what it is you want. Once you make that decision, it may be easier to sort out your confusion and do something about how you want to live out the rest of your life. I know things will happen and some of them may make me question my desires and coping skills, but I also know that today I actually care about more than forgetting things with medication. I get to feel real feelings, that don’t always feel so great. I get to enjoy my children and be available for all their needs. And, I get to indulge in life without feeling like I forgot many parts of it. I am present today. I chose “to.”